shoulda, coulda, woulda

SO everyone has a moment, probably many, that puts then on a road in life. The fork in the road of life if you will. There are always those moments where you will look back and think "I should have...." or "I shouldn't have...". Heres the thing..would you go back if given the chance? Would you change the house you bought, how many children you have or don't have, the car you bought, your relationships? It might not even be something you could have controlled..just a life changing moment.

This was the topic on the radio this morning. It has had my mind working all day. It has left me feeling shitty. Of course there are things in my life I would change. There are relationships I wish I had taken a chance on..or not. Knowing now what I do...I would definately change my house...my education...lots of things.

Doubt; to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe.

It's a tough thing doubt... to feel it, to think it..what would you change? Would you change anything? Or was there a moment in your life that you could have prevented?

Life is a funny thing. We only have one go at it. It is tough to know if we are doing the right thing. What if we get to heaven and God goes "remember this moment? why did you do that? I had such great plans for you!" I'd be like ...shit I knew it!! Regret, guilt, and doubt...the three monsters that, if you let it, can send you into a tizzy.

Tomorrow I am going to start the day with no doubt..no regrets and no guilt. I am who I am and I have to believe thats who God wants me to be. I will think with my heart, feel with my heart and know that I have done the best that I can. I will get mad, be sad, and be happy. I might laugh till I pee..and cry till I can't breath..but I believe that I will make it through and in some way...it will guide me to where I am suppose to be. At least thats what I hope...I hope thats what I am suppose to do..what if I am suppose to laugh till I can't breath and cry till I pee? Oh God what if I am doing it all wrong? Crap