Along life's path we all will experience different things. Along the path that God leads us we will have many many questions. The big one will surely be "why". Whether you are successful in love, life, financials, we will all have moments when we think.."really God...why?". We are indeed experiencing one of those moments. Dave and I have had friends and coworkers that have suffered great great loss. We do our best to support them, comfort them and assure them God has a reason for all...and that things will get better. We have all at some point in the process of comforting someone tell them that we know how they feel when in actuality we don't, and hope to never. Until you feel it...you don't know.

We as a family have had some very moments like that in the past 2 years. Watching my husband..the man I love to the core of my heart..have unbelievable pain in his eyes. The cancer his mom is fighting has been grueling on all of us. To look at Dave is to look at Suzie. The way he cares..its' her. The way he loves...it's her. His smile..hers. His sense of humor...his dads!! Suzie has done an amazing job raising her son to be a loving caring man. When I met Dave I teased him he was a momma's boy. And at times early in our marriage I can't lie...it would frustrate me. Now we are older and have kids of our own...and I find that in him the most wonderful part of him. The pain in his eyes is horrible. I would do anything to take it away and make her better. It is so hard to feel in my heart that God has a plan and that we all must just be patient and wait. I could cringe at how many times I have told that to people that are in pain. I thought that those words would give comfort in a moment of pain..it doesn't. We pray every day that he make her stronger...that he make her better. We go to church and I can feel Dave praying for her...with every part of his heart. We can feel those around us praying for her. Our friends have been amazing in their prayers.

For the last two weeks Dave has felt something going on. He was insistent that something was not good. I tried to reassure him that things would be ok. This week Suzie had a set back. I could not tell him by text..or by email. I got in my car took a huge breath and went to school. As I walked down the hallway all I could think was I don't want to do this. I don't want to tell him something that I know is going to brake his heart in two. When I got to his room...he walked out..took one look at me...and there it was..the look. I will never ever forget that look. At that moment I changed...we changed. I feel like I need to hold on to him for dear life. Life is to short. This road God has us on is a wild ride indeed. I am so thankful we have each other and God and friends.

I find myself thinking I will never ever again say to someone..i know how you feel. A comforting hand on the back...or arms to catch you when you collapse in sobs..that's what I'll try to be.

For now we are all living moment by moment and hopeing that Suzie continues to kick this cancer in the butt. We are headed to TN this weekend to spend some time together. We are all looking forward to our Nani hugs:)